Notes on ASD: sharing diagnosis with child

The survival guide for Kids with autism spectrum disorders (and their parents) by Elizabeth Verdick and Elizabeth Reeve, M.D.

Sharing the diagnosis with your child (for parents) pg227

1.      First and foremost, know that it’s likely your child already has a idea that he or she is “different” in some way. The news may not be as shocking as you think Kids with autism spectrum disorders realize they struggle in certain areas, but they don’t know why. They may think, “I do everything wrong” or “It’s all my fault.” They may wonder why they’re in a special education program or why they see doctors and therapist a lot more often than other kids do…. it’s an opportunity for you to give your child n ot only the reasons but also reassurance. Children need to know that having a condition isn’t their fault.

2.      The most important thing you can do is to keep the conversation positive. Wait until you yourself are at a point of acceptance.

3.      How to keep the conversation positive? By making it clear that you’re there to answer questions, to offer support, and to always be a source of unconditional love.

4.      Look for signs of readiness. If your child says something like, “I’m so stupid!” or “I can’t do things, right?”

5.      Choose a good time: Home is quiet, child is calm, no pressing agendas are present.

6.      Autism spectrum disorders are considered medical conditions. Kids who have ASD need help, guidance, and support. Some parents make the3 mistake of believing that because a diagnosis will lead to a label, that label will then hold their child back in school, in social situations, and throughout life. But failing to acknowledge the condition doesn’t change the reality of it. Other parents attempt to soften the truth by telling their child he or she has a learning disorder or a developmental delay. This terminology may give children the impression that they’ll outgrow the problem or “get better” if they “do things right.” Avoiding the diagnosis or giving it a different name only postpones the process of getting kids the help they need and deserve.

 

 

This URL will provide information about my faith journey. I apologize ahead of time, that information may be posted at inconvenient intervals.

This additional blogsite to Sappy Happy Tales,  will be singular to my personal ‘faith transition’ or ‘post Mormonism’ content. The sole purpose for adding the site is purely for self-centered reasons. My life is full of wonderful things, but driving and seeing a therapist has yet to enter my schedule. I would like to have this resource, but until then-there will be “Journaling to Discover and to Express Faith.” I do not intend and most likely will not publish all my written experiences- there is at least 7 years worth.

An Exit From Fundamentalism

Jake and I value our relationship with family and friends. We strive to live in honesty and honor, while rooting our family in the unconditional love God gives. Sometimes joining these concepts within these mediums isn’t always clear on how to do it smoothly. Our family has resigned our membership to our religion, but not in our faith. It is difficult to know how open we need to be and with whom. Many aspects about being open with our transition makes me(Heidi) uneasy. A part of uneasiness comes from defining ourselves, which doesn’t align with my value of, everybody is on equal playing grounds. Any type of seclusion or separation of our Self depletes humanity. It would be nice if we all tapped into feeling and perceiving our fluid connection with Life. A natural progression to  personal communication with this topic is ideal. While other times may require the authenticity for Self to speak up. We imagine this news may be heart-sinking for some who know us and view this post. If questions arise, we are willing to respond with simple answers if that is your desire. Because we value our relationships, we have no intentions of persuading others to change their course of direction. A common misconception when people leave their religion is that they have been offended, are unhappy or desire to ‘sin’. But in reality, it is because they have a tendency to ask questions, seek truth, and want understanding to their cognitive dissonance. This transition to a new chapter in our family’s journey is hard-earned. We persevered in pondering, praying, searching biblical scriptures and researched most all controversial topics about our religion. We are happy with our decision and feel at peace. We continue-on, heeding God’s Divine Power to navigate our family with ‘special needs’ children. The ideology is to raise our girls in the healthiest way we know how and/or have parental control over. Undergoing this awakening of truth, allows our faith and spirituality to develop directly under God, who isn’t limited by anything Earthly. We wish for a dual acceptance in each of our life- journeys. We hope you will trust us over time that we are making the best decision for our family.

Warm Wishes,
Heidi and Jake

Enforcement Psychology:14 Cult Characteristics

My professor, Dr. Morgan Peterson wrote our course book, Enforcement Psychology Coping with the Rigors of Policing. The content thus far has been intriguing and informative. He sometimes shares his life experienced stories to lighten the uneasy content that may come with some of the topics presented in class. Today in class we  mostly learned  about different gangs within the US. The second topic of discussion was defining a Cult. Starting on page 39 in the book, here are their  14 characteristics: 

Characteristics of Cults

All of these characteristics may or may not exist in any given group, but there is an excellent chance that at least some of these indicators will be present.

    1. Group displays zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as truth; as law.
    2. Any dissent is discouraged and punished
    3. Mind-altering practices are used to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s) They do this for homosexuals to help reduce their attraction, but not directly toward any leader
    4. Leadership dictates how members should think, act, and feel. (Get permission to date or marry; what types of clothes to wear; where to live; where to live; whether to have children; hot to discipline children)
    5. The group is elitist, claiming exalted status, for its leader(s) and members( leader is considered the Messiah, a special being or the group and/or leader are on a mission to save humanity.)
    6. The group is polarized and isolated
    7. The leader answers to no higher authority
    8. The group teaches that its exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary.
    9. Leadership induces feelings of shame and guilt in order to influence and control members
    10. Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.(going on a mission instead of school.
    11. The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members and making money
    12. Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to group-related activities.
    13. Members are encouraged or required to live and /or socialize only with members.
    14. Loyal members feel there can be no life outside of the group, and often fear the consequences to themselves or others if they leave. 

 

Giving Peace and Comfort

Some are more inclined than others to focus on spirituality. Finding the best avenue may be like searching for the right doctor. For 10 years I was a massage therapist and if you came to me with sciatic nerve pain, on our protocol would be Piriformis muscle which is located inferior/ underneath the Gluteal muscles. However, if you went to a Neurologist, they would have an entirely different protocol. A while ago I was feeling spiritually stagnant. I methodically came to realize my beliefs and perception needed to be more inline with God’s. It takes time to understand His words and will. Progressing requires patience on my part and the ability to adapt. When I understand a new spiritual concept, my ability to input spiritual knowledge expands and allows room for more enlightenment. Occasionally the realignment is uncomfortable, like the last unexpected deluge.

It was just another adversarial verbal-combat through a meltdown, with a certain 3-year-old whose name shall remain anonymous. (wink-wink) During pre-season meltdown, the referee(myself) took a time-out to my bedroom.  I am grateful Jake was not traveling for work and was home to take on all the nightly rituals. My affliction held out to a ghastly length. The details of my foe are too tender to share, but certainly the enlightenment can be disclosed. The muttered complaints were mostly to myself, but I guess God took it personally because he sent the Holy Ghost to boldly comfort me with, “You have everything you asked Me for.” It was the nicest way anybody could have told me to “Shut the hell up.” God is right, and all that He’s given adds joy to life. Before His words of comfort came, my personal drama was like involuntarily shoving my own face into a hot-sloppy, muddy- reality and only in submersion could I make meaning out of His words, “Landmarks of success don’t bring peace!”  Past experiences with peace has always been a struggle. Therefore I can expect the same for the future.

A variety of sources lend peace and influence individuals differently.  I was diagnosed with Anxiety/Panic disorder at the age of 21 and what my internal voice has told me is, “If it improves an aspect of your life without harming another aspect, try it.” For the practice of grammar I’ll include a personal illustration: Somewhere imbedded into my sinews is the muscle-memory of running on Utah’s Wasatch BLVD. Animate alongside the Wasatch Mountains with cars whizzing by and my feet making contact with the asphalt; provided an intermittent space of peace throughout all four seasons of the year. ‘Running’ is retired because the function of my body morphed and the amount of its influence wouldn’t be as impactful. Today the Pacific Ocean is an undiluted source of outpouring peace and prevalent for my body. Even though I am an advocate of all organized religions, I don’t think these institutions are singular to knowing God. So yes, the ocean brings me closer to God and helps reset my beliefs to what is true.

God is a good, reliable source in giving peace. His words cannot be bound by earthly cares or effective my the Periodic Table of Elements. His way of providing peace adapts to each person’s unique needs. Like, when these scriptures below were in my studies the day after my ‘time-out.’ He knows I’m a typecast for a dark comedy movie, so the first scripture is enjoyably humorous. Then I’m reassured of not being the only one and to keep my chin up because I am progressing. Then He gives me a job to do so I feel needed.

“12  Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

Whom resist steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

10  But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle”

“5  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

6  And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.

7  And our hope of you is steadfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.”

So, I guess my hope for the future is staying close to God and trusting He will lead me to more  resources contributing peace and my own false-landmarks will vanish. God gave me comfort and peace to pass on, so others may feel it as well.

 

 

 

Flipagram: Tie-Dye

A deeply held belief of mine is that we all have a purpose here on Earth and God wants  us engaged with its discovery.  In my current frame of mind, knowing my purpose is a way of existing in life that feels like light and truth. Each new discovery adds more light and brings us closer to truth. Understanding how I operate spiritually and physically is an aide for this process and helps me connect to other peoples’ discovery-of-purpose.  It is through God and His son, Jesus Christ who have been my guide and in whom I put my trust. I give them full credit for providing me the enlightenment and motivating me to obtain a greater perspective.  If a creature like myself believes  God has a purpose for me, then it would only make sense for it to extend to every other living creature on this planet. They too are designed for a purpose their discoveries are equally important. This little girl Tie-Dye, has enriched the life of each member of our family. Did I ever think I’d have a Dubia roach colony in my daughter’s bedroom, or that I’d rather smell dog poop than dragon drop-drippings? Nope. Her stillness and observations grounds me to the present. When I watch her, I’m ‘in-love’, and ‘in-fascination’. Tie-Dye reaffirms to me that my spiritual being harmonizes with science. I don’t expect all humans to feel ‘in-love’ with tetrapod vertebrates, but I do hope these animals receive respect for their reptilian classification and be treated kindly.