Understanding Transgender V: Fitting Into the Box


Understanding Transgender V: Fitting Into the Box

The difficulty with knowledge about Transgender or LGB will be fitting it into a shapely, decorative box that looks nicely in all the institutions I’ve associated myself with. The secret card folded into my sleeve is: I have never fit into any sort of shapely box. So if I don’t find one, that’s fine by me. The book, Coming Around has given me helpful tools if my child were to ‘come out’. Here are bullet points I’ve taken to heart:

  • Don’t confront or tell your child they are Gay, Lesbian or Transgender. (13)
  • Listen and understand their language and words. (8)
  • Guilt serves one purpose- to change course. After that it’s destructive. (13)
  • Get beyond stereotypes. Find time to evaluate perceptions. (15)
  • It’s important that their self-esteem remains intact. Discussing sexuality/gender with a parent exposes the child’s vulnerability. (16)
  • When your child comes out to you, saying these three words are essential. 1- I love you. 2- I’m proud of you. 3-I’m glad you told me. (23)
  • If you are baffled, focus on their feelings until you can get a hold of yours. (27)
  • Hold, hug and kiss them while they are coming out. (29)
  • It’s okay if a parent doesn’t always say the right thing. But it’s best if we are prepared to apologize when we are wrong. (29)

I’ve often wondered why the need to ‘come out’. This quote resonated with me, “Disclosure is an important aspect of intimacy and connection. If we are to be authentic and truly present in a relationship then it is necessary to disclose who we are and what matters to us.” (20) It is of my opinion that living an honest life is benevolent. Also, everyone deserves respect on what they want to keep private and to whom they choose to share certain information.

Music- I Stand All Amazed

 

Anything Box Living in Oblivion

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