This URL will provide information about my faith journey. I apologize ahead of time, that information may be posted at inconvenient intervals.

This additional blogsite to Sappy Happy Tales,  will be singular to my personal ‘faith transition’ or ‘post Mormonism’ content. The sole purpose for adding the site is purely for self-centered reasons. My life is full of wonderful things, but driving and seeing a therapist has yet to enter my schedule. I would like to have this resource, but until then-there will be “Journaling to Discover and to Express Faith.” I do not intend and most likely will not publish all my written experiences- there is at least 7 years worth.

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An Exit From Fundamentalism

Jake and I value our relationship with family and friends. We strive to live in honesty and honor, while rooting our family in the unconditional love God gives. Sometimes joining these concepts within these mediums isn’t always clear on how to do it smoothly. Our family has resigned our membership to our religion, but not in our faith. It is difficult to know how open we need to be and with whom. Many aspects about being open with our transition makes me(Heidi) uneasy. A part of uneasiness comes from defining ourselves, which doesn’t align with my value of, everybody is on equal playing grounds. Any type of seclusion or separation of our Self depletes humanity. It would be nice if we all tapped into feeling and perceiving our fluid connection with Life. A natural progression to  personal communication with this topic is ideal. While other times may require the authenticity for Self to speak up. We imagine this news may be heart-sinking for some who know us and view this post. If questions arise, we are willing to respond with simple answers if that is your desire. Because we value our relationships, we have no intentions of persuading others to change their course of direction. A common misconception when people leave their religion is that they have been offended, are unhappy or desire to ‘sin’. But in reality, it is because they have a tendency to ask questions, seek truth, and want understanding to their cognitive dissonance. This transition to a new chapter in our family’s journey is hard-earned. We persevered in pondering, praying, searching biblical scriptures and researched most all controversial topics about our religion. We are happy with our decision and feel at peace. We continue-on, heeding God’s Divine Power to navigate our family with ‘special needs’ children. The ideology is to raise our girls in the healthiest way we know how and/or have parental control over. Undergoing this awakening of truth, allows our faith and spirituality to develop directly under God, who isn’t limited by anything Earthly. We wish for a dual acceptance in each of our life- journeys. We hope you will trust us over time that we are making the best decision for our family.

Warm Wishes,
Heidi and Jake

Ivy Minda’s Blessing

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Jake and I had our youngest daughter blessed on March 2, 2014 in the LDS church. A baby blessing in the LDS church isn’t like a christening or baptism into the church.  Our baptisms are at the age of 8 or older. This decision is made because of the 2nd article of faith. There are 13 of them and they are used as a guideline to the scriptures. The second article states:  “We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.” Some Faiths believe children are born in sin and need to be baptized as an infant. The LDS faith believe babies are born perfect and if they die before the age of accountability (8yrs old) they automatically go live with Jesus.The blessing ordinance is given in church by a Priesthood holder. They act as a conduit for God, relaying  His words that will help inspire and guide the recipient throughout their life.

A significant amount of energy went into making this event special.  Family and friends were invited. Treats were eaten: cupcakes, brownies, cookies, and candy. A simple lunch menu served: pulled BBQ chicken sandwiches, chips, fruit and veggies. A blessing  scrapbook was made; here are a couple of its excerpts.

This quote about modesty resonated with Jake and I:

“Everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them. Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Muhammad Ali

If names were to be attached to scriptures in hopes to guide a person through life, this would be one of them:

 

1)I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
2) Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
3) Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
4) Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
5) I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
6) If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
7) If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall bask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
8) Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
9) As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
10) If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
11) These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full

John 15:1-11

About 30 people came over to our house after the ordinance. It was so fun!  I’m grateful for my family who came and gave a significant amount of help. Thanks to all those who gave their support.

 

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The Empty Baggie

It’s a journey when discovering something new about prayer. For over a year now Jake and I have been working towards receiving something. For the sake of privacy I’ll refer this something as Precious. It’s been difficult and included lots of praying, pondering, and self-reflecting. Along the way we felt on the right path of doing the right thing. Our hearts were entirely in it and continually striving for good intentions.

At the end of 2012 we had a strong impression we needed to find a new place to live. Not far, but far enough we changed schools for our kids. I equated this urge to mean it would help smooth and quicken our endeavors of obtaining our Precious. We soon realized that our move didn’t make us any closer, it set us back. The result of our endeavors caused too much conflict and our hearts pulled out. Frustration and disappointment settled in. We went to the Lord again in prayer. This time it was to concur we were supposed to stop. After sleeping on the matter, we felt good about not furthering our efforts. It hurt to say goodbye to a dream I kept for 20 years.

Why pray for something and have it feel so right, when the result won’t be the thing you’ve set your heart on? I can’t answer that. But I do have an answer that gave me comfort. Please bear with me as I relate another story. If it sounds off-hand, I assure you it has a point.

Walking up a steep incline to pick my daughter up from school, there was a lady walking four large dogs. Being the animal lover I am, the sight looked friendly. I attempted to congratulate the lady on having wonderful, handsome dogs. A canine approached me. Dogs usually like me, so my thought was, Oh how cute. But apparently it was telling me I was too close because then it bit my inner thigh! I used this situation to teach my children about dog-safety. Our own dog has troubles nipping at small boys and men. Having my own pet dilemmas I know even good dogs bite given the right circumstance.

The girls and I went hiking at the Batiquitos Lagoon. I made sandwiches beforehand because I knew they would gain an appetite. They chose to leave them in the car and eat when we were on our way home. Along the trail, a lady was walking the opposite direction of us. A large brownish-black dog was leashed to her hand. She asked the girls if they wanted to pet him. In unison I said, “I think we’ll pass,” and the girls said, “Sure!” I didn’t feel the need to control the situation. The lady made her dog sit down and the girls were led to pet the dog. It was a good experience for us; another safety-dog lesson learned.

Anticipation for food was high when we got to the car. Unfortunately one of my girl’s sandwiches was nowhere to be found. She prayed to Heavenly Father that she would find her sandwich. I thought it was faithful of her, but didn’t share her same enthusiasm.

When we got to the drive-way of our place, my daughter opened her door. On the cement, there lay a clear baggie. A hole ripped right in the middle, the bag left empty and covered in dog saliva. Each interaction that day led me to the next. In that moment I knew my prayer was answered. God knew the best way I would learn, so he put two important creatures in my life; dogs and children. My feelings of moving to a new place did smooth and speed our process. Instead of obtaining our Precious it was to be able to let it go.

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